Exercise - Active listening

1. Find two colleagues (eg fellow team members) who would like to assess, and improve, their active listening skills with you. You will need to find a place you can talk relatively privately for half an hour or so.
2. You will do a simple listening exercise three times - approximately ten minutes each time. Each time one of you is the 'client', one is the 'coach', and one is the 'observer'. After ten minutes you swap roles so that each of you has a turn at being the 'client', the 'coach' and the 'observer'.
3. For the first ten minute session the ‘client’ is seeking some help in thinking through a question – eg “Where shall I go on holiday next year?”.
4. The ‘coach’ is there to help – by listening carefully, and asking questions that will help the client to come to think things through. (Not by giving their own ideas - see the points above)
5. The ‘observer’ listens closely, observes body language so that they can give helpful feedback to the coach.
6. The observer also keeps track of time. After 5 minutes or so the ‘observer’ calls a halt, and there are a few minutes for feedback to the ‘coach’ on their listening:
   
   1. First, the ‘client’ says whether or not they felt well listened to by the ‘coach’, giving an example from the session if possible. They can point out anything they found particularly helpful about the ‘coach’s’ questions. They can also mention any time they felt the ‘coach’ didn’t listen well.
   2. The ‘observer’ then feeds back anything they noticed about the interaction that will help the ‘coach’ improve their skills next time.
7. Everyone then takes a different role for the next ten minute session, and the exercise is repeated. And then repeated for a third time so that everyone experiences each role.

For these practice sessions it is helpful to keep the topics fairly light hearted. It is an exercise in practising active listening skills, not in helping people with deep problems. The time for that is when you feel confident in your active listening skills.

Think of the topics that work best for you. Here are some you might try:

• Where shall I go on holiday next year?
• How can I improve my work-life balance?
• How could I be more effective at work?
• What would an ideal day at work look like for me?

Remember what active listening involves, and what you are trying to work on in this exercise:

• Body language should indicate acceptance, receptivity and patience.
• Don't interrupt - or allow others to if you are the team leader.
• Show you are not sitting in judgement, by really trying to understand their viewpoint.
• Show you are attending carefully to what is being said by reflecting what you are hearing, asking for clarification, asking questions to clarify or expand on meaning.

Good luck!