We all make assumptions about other people based on our perceptions of their words and actions.
But are these assumptions correct?
We interpret a brief email as rude, whereas actually it was hurried because the person wanted to let us know something quickly. Their intention was to be helpful but the impact on us was to make us feel offended.
We are aware of our own intentions and the impact others have on us but may not be so aware of others’ intentions or the impact we are having on them. However, we act at times like there is no distinction between the two sides of the diagram below.
If you have mis-understandings when you communicate with somebody, or feel somehow your communications are not as good as they could be, this model, and the matrix below may help you understand where you would like more clarity. It can be particularly helpful if you are actually in a conflict with them that you both want to, or need to resolve.
Just draw a 2 x 2 box, as below, and complete it. Reflect on whether there would be any mileage in seeking more clarity from the other person.
